I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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