yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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