Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
