Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
