tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
