Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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