i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
