Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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