My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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