You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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