she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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