As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Be still, my beating vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
