At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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