elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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