You just made me feel so damn special
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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