Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
