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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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