I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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