I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
