This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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