I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
