We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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