I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
