They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i permit you to call me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
