No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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