He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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