So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
