Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
