I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
