Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
