oh god the rape fog is back!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
