Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
