Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
