I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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