Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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