there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
