i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize