did you get engaged???
one might say we're banned from that church
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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