Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
