Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
did i just pee glitter
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
