remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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