Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
