p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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