But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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