can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
