This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
