cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
