she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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