And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
