he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
