Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he thought i was a dude.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i believe in u and ur pee
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
