Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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