god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You can't special order awesome
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize