You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
