found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
