My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize