Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize