i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
