Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
