He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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