Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
