Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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