if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
