My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
