new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
