Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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