How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
