So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize