I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
