Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
