We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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