"it" just moved
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
