sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Rumble strips road head = magical
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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