someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
