I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
