My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
