went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
