Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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