Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
