my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
